16 August 2007
Death Eating A Cracker
Linda over at Are We There Yet is holding a contest. The prize is a coffee cup with one of her daughter's unique designs from Artmunkey. All you have to do is bare your soul and let her know when you felt like "Death Eating A Cracker".
This one is easy and will appeal to the dispatcher in Linda. It was 1981, and I had just rented a house that had been previously owned by an elderly couple. The yard was incredibly overgrown and in an insane spurt of yard work I decided to take on a the overgrown limbs of a climbing rose bush ... bush my eye this thing was well on its way to giving the Amazon jungle a run for it's money.
Innocently raising the pruning shears above my head , the blades went click, my back went WHANG, my mouth opened with the dead silence of absolute agony, and the next thing I knew I was down on the ground with a paralyzed left leg. So I dragged myself into the house, dialed 911 and almost immediately got two of the most pleasant, handsome, and almost totally useless firemen at my door. They weren't in an ambulance. The rule said hey couldn't drive me to the hospital in a fire truck ... that will teach me to be more specific when whimpering. It would be a half hour and and a very expensive ambulance if I wanted one. What to do ... what to do?
Handsome, pleasant firemen, load incapacitated agonized lady into her car and follow her to the hospital in case she hits someone while driving and their services are required. Handsome, pleasant firemen assist incapacitated agonized lady into the emergency room. Handsome, pleasant firemen then raise holy hell until rude overworked nurse person takes blood pressure and confirms that admitting incapacitated agonized lady immediately would probably keep hospital from being sued. All too young fuzzy cheeked eventual doctor uses needle and handsome, pleasant firemen, rude nurse person, and all too young, fuzzy-cheeked eventual doctor fade into a blissful haze. Two hours later and off and on through traction, physical therapy and other rather unpleasant events over the next three weeks, I felt like "Death Eating a Cracker".