Joy For Whovians

The Ballad of Russell and Julie. Lyrics.

Julie and Russell sat one night.
Russell sparked up a Marlboro Light.
Julie’s eyes were all ablaze,
As Russell tried to shun her gaze.
He knew the look, he knew the score;
It seemed more manic than before.
Russell cringed in fear and dread
As Julie pulled him near and said:

Let’s do it, let’s do it.
I’ve had a really good idea.
We’ll re-vamp, make more camp
A sci-fi show from yester-year.
I’ve had banter with Tranter.
Your written word will be hailed in the ming mong mantra.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

But he said…

I can’t do it, I can’t do it.
You’re asking far too much of me.
I’m harasssed, embarassed;
I’ve watched the show since I was three.
Don’t choose me, don’t use me,
My mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight.

So she said…

Let’s do it, let’s do it-
Make a brand new Doctor Who.
We’ve got Chris in, all’s missing
Is a sidekick and an all-Welsh crew.
It’s not silly to ask Billie.
We’ll film in every quarry from here to Caerphilly.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

Ooh, then he said…

I can’t do it, I can’t do it-
The pressure of the BBC.
I must e-mail some young male
To alleviate the stress on me.
I can’t block out, please lock out,
Images of Johnny B getting his cock out.
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight.

She replied…

Let’s do it, let’s do it.
Phil okayed my offer to produce.
We’ll get Trac to take flack
When he lets his raging temper loose.
My decision to use your vision
Will make the show the best thing on the television.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

And he squawked…

I can’t do it, I can’t do it.
Chris is giving up his role.
No Time Lord? Oh good Lord,
How we’re gonna fill this role?
It’s too complex, we’re all wrecks.
My brain is overflowing with a bloody Dalek.
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight.

She excitedly said…

Let’s do it, let’s do it.
We’ll get another Time Lord in.
Don’t sweat it, you can’t let it
Make you sad and maudlin.
It’s not over, and moreover,
We’ll get the lovely fellow in from Casanova.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

And he yelled…

I can’t do it, I can’t do it.
I really think that I can’t cope.
More re-writes, no respite-
I think I’ve given up all hope.
It’ll get canned, it’ll be panned.
Lou says there’s no costumes in the whole of England.
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight.

Then she proclaimed…

Let’s do it, let’s do it.
Martha Jones is Freema Agyeman.
We’ll bring back Captain Jack
To fight against the Cybermen.
We’ll cast a great Master,
He can plunge the planet into global disaster.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

And he screamed…

I can’t do it, I can’t do it.
You’ve cast Australia’s pop princess.
It’s madness, my sadness
Will make this episode a mess.
My panic is manic-
The uproar when I kill her off on the Titanic!
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight.

And she expelled…

Let’s do it, let’s do it.
The Doctor needs a brand new mate.
Don’t linger, go ginger.
I’m gonna bring back Catherine Tate.
I wanna, you’re gonna,
Reunite the Doctor with the fabulous Donna.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

He punctuated…

I can’t do it, I can’t do it.
I’ve got obsessed with E4’s Skins.
Writer’s block. Please don’t mock,
It takes my mind off other things.
It’s so lame, I must blame dirty thoughts I’m having about Midshipman Frame.
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight.

Excitedly she said…

Let’s do it, let’s do it.
To film abroad will get my vote.
I promise Ed Thomas can’t bring Ancient Rome to Upper Boat.
It’s D-Day on Pompeii;
The forums will be buzzing on Outpost Gallifrey.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

And he roared…

I can’t do it, I can’t do it.
The studio in Rome’s ablaze.
On fire, it’s dire-
How the hell are you not phased?
It’s mental. Be gentle.
They say the cause of fire was a Berkley Menthol.
I can’t do it, I can’t do it tonight.

So she roared…

Let’s do it, let’s do it.
We’ve got kids back behind settees.
Our mission, ambition,
Was a show for all the families.
we should try as our goodbye
A hassle-free excursion to sunny Dubai.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight.

But he shouted…

Oh, let’s do it. Let’s do it!
I feel like I’ve been set free.
I won’t sweat it, now Moffat
Is taking up the reins from me.
I can’t wait, it’s just great-
I’ve got a cracking way for Dave to regenerate.
Let’s do it, let’s do it tonight!

Guess what?

They did it! They did it!
They opened up the TARDIS door.
They’re terrific, prolific.
Made it better than it was before!
A ‘thank you’ from your crew.
We crown you both the King and Queen of Doctor Who.
You did it, you did it tonight!

The Ending of A Song

The ending begins tomorrow night with the Waters of Mars.  There will be three more episodes and then David Tennant will cease to be Doctor Who with "The End of Time", Parts I & II.  In my extended involvement with the Doctor, I have been through many transitions since the 1960s, but Tenant created the best Doctor ever.  I will miss him.  In fairness to this creation of one timelord in one rather odd mode of transportation, I have promised two things:  I won't read any of the spoilers and I will give the next incarnation a chance to become a great doctor. 

Still there will be mourning and I fully expect more than a few tears to be shed, not to mention the gnashing of teeth and screams of outrage over the loss.  When you give a great actor a great role, then wonderful things happen.  David Tennant is a marvelous actor and Doctor Who may be one of the iconic characters of all time.  One of these days, I may have the opportunity to see Mr. Tennant play Hamlet as he has done in Great Britain.  Until then, thank you for this Doctor Who.  Oh how you ran!!

Unaccustomed As I Am ..

Jessica the Rock Chick over at Life Is Rantastic is very good at truly creative ranting. Her rants are a phenomenal expression of true angst over the events in life. While I do hold strong opinions, ranting just isn't a natural part of my personality, and I truly envy those who do it well.

HOWEVER!!! The BBC is messing with me and I don't like it!. You have to understand that I love British movies and television shows. I even pay extra to Comcast just to get BBC America in my station lineup because there are better shows with better acting there than on the network schedule. Now would someone explain to me why it takes two years or more for a show in the UK to show up on their US counterpart?

For the first time, I've found a reality show that I like: "Any Dream Will Do". It combines my love of theater with great singing voices as they try to cast the role of Joseph in a revival of Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat. It is a little like observing a hopped up version of a tryout cattle call and it is brutal to get down to the final 12 out of thousands of applicants. It has another great plus as it gives me another excuse to watch John Barrowman. Who cares if he's gay? I'm retired and that man is great scenery, has a wonderful voice and can act up a storm. Sorry, my imagination drifted off subject there.

Do not click on the link above if you are watching the show and want to be surprised about who won because someone already has. If you are watching and like me googled for additional information, you already know not only who won but that the revival has already taken place and the show is now closed and no longer playing in the West End theater district. What's more there are already videos of the contestants and an "official video" of the winner performing the TV show title song, Any Dream Will Do. Again, don't click if you don't want to know who won and played Joseph.

This is all part of a nefarious plot between BBC UK and BBC USA to make my life miserable. Right now I'm waiting for new seasons to Hotel Babylon, Robin Hood, Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Primeval among others. I've seen all of the Doctor Who episodes that have been released to North America. I've seen them and seen them again on BBC America, CBC (Canada), and Sci Fi channels. Torchwood is in reruns on BBC America. If you write BBC America and ask when these programs might show up, you get a nice form letter from someone named Stephanie thanking you for your interest in their shows. Stephanie is darn lucky she wasn't in the same room with me when I read that bit of twaddle.

Now the schedulers manage to get an American version of BBC News every night. Not once do they mention events from two years ago as if they were current events. Why can't they get the darn (expletive I was thinking deleted)shows on at the same time is beyond me or at the very least know when they might be expected. It's not as if they need to try them out first on the Brits to see if they go over in the US. There is absolutely no guarantee that a hit show in one place will be a hit show in another. Just look at the American remakes of Coupling and The Office. One a flop and one a hit here as an American remake. Viva Blackpool a BBC hit went completely down in flames as Viva Laughlin even with Hugh Jackman.

It's not like there could be an American version of the Doctor with David Tenant or Torchwood with John Barrowman. They are so decidedly British shows. Those of us who love the Beeb series with British actors deserve to see them at the same time as our compatriots across the pond. Why keep us in suspense? Is it some sort of revenge? Have they never truly forgiven us for being revolting? If they want New York back or something, we could talk ... Just send me my shows!!!!

In the meantime, John Barrowman singing "Anything Goes" may make me a shade less grouchy, but I doubt it.

The Time-y Wimey ... Stuff

Doctor Who just finished up the fourth season of the latest version of this British export that first hit the TV screens in 1963. In 2009 there will be five "specials" with David Tenant the most recent doctor, who will then regenerate into the next Doctor Who and a new actor for Season Five in 2010.

Is that geeky enough for you? I am a hopeless Doctor Who addict and absolutely love the David Tenant characterization. There is no way to really explain the Doctor, but in a recent episode where the latest alien menace has taken over a library and has him cornered. What does the Doctor do? He flips his "screwdriver" and says, "You have the knowledge of the universe at your disposal. I'm The Doctor. Look me up!". The shadow that had been creeping towards him, does a high speed reverse in direction. Every Who addict laughed out loud.

It is the combination of humor, wisdom, emotion all packed into one of the best written shows you will ever see. So far my favorite line this year is, "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff. " Somehow the idea that time is wibbly wobbly is very, very comforting.



This is a small clip from the Doctor Who episode "Blink"



Another clip of Doctor Who, "Silence In The Library"