03 April 2009

A Living Will


This may be the best Living Will I've Seen


I,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:


Glass of wine

Chocolate

Margarita

Sex

Martini

Cold Beer

Chicken fried steak

Cream gravy

Sex

Mexican food

French fries

Pizza

Ice cream

Potato chips

Chinese food

Any type of red meat or


Sex

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!

8 comments:

Lois Grebowski said...

hahahahahahahahahaaha!

Linda said...

I need to print this one out, sign it, and tell Amanda where it is "just in case"!

eProf2 said...

That's a good laugh about a very serious issue: death with dignity. I'm hoping your state, WA, will join OR in their doctor assisted death law. Then, maybe other states and the federal government will join in and make it possible for us geezers (and just about everyone will get there) to see the end of life as a pleasant relief and not as something to fear and worry about should one get really sick toward the inevitable end of life and be stuck on life support systems without any hope of a return to a quality life style. Sorry to turn your laughter to a frown, as the will is very good and very funny.

maryt/theteach said...

that's fantastic Jamie! Thanks for sharing! :) Have a great weekend! :)

carol g said...

Maxine is just wonderful... I did a blog about her creator and his inspirtations a while back. At one point I had started a scrapbook of her wise remarks ... but there are just too many of them!!

Chloe said...

Jamie, Great art work at the top of this post. I like it as well as the one on the article about legalizing marijuana today, and I liked that one a lot too. Great blog Jamie!

In case you missed that one: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1889021,00.html

Travis said...

Briliant!

This Eclectic Life said...

Oh that's good. Except bacon isn't on the list. If I don't ask for bacon, then you know I'm brain dead!