17 July 2007

Moaning Meme

Linda over at Are We There Yet has tagged me with "The Moaning Meme" that she received from Freelance Cynic. Normally, when it comes to tagging, I am like the man being being run out of town on a rail after being tarred and feathered: "If it weren't for the honor, I would rather walk!" But this one is different ... no turning our sunny faces to the world; no proud pictures of the wee ones; no counting our blessings or chortling over completed goals ... this one is for the Moaning Myrtle who resides within us all.

What is a moaning meme? To quote the Freelance Cynic -

"... a recent study has shown that the most effective form of human bonding is moaning and gossiping but our blogs, the social tools of the 21st century, are populated by memes listing our 'favourites,' or our 'blessings,' or our 'funniest' moments. In our efforts to be readable we have denied others the one thing that makes us interesting - our whining, moaning, complaining selves. And so I am pleased to present the first ever Moaning Meme! The meme that will teach us all a bit more about each other and ourselves."

List 4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth:

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and any other drug or alcohol laden anorexic with more money than brains who is fawned over by a media culture populated by the equally brainless newsbunnies currently cluttering the airwaves.

Speaking of the media, I've learned to live without real reporters who know their subject on TV, but please, please, please can't we dump every "news reader" who majored in hair tossing, hasn't bothered to read their script before going on air, and who doesn't have a clue how the words are pronounced much less what they mean.

TV executives who make you hunt for new shows over the whole week and at various times until they cancel it for "lack of interest". This happens to any fairly interesting show requiring an education beyond the third grade and the attention of people who don't giggle between words.

Mirrors in unexpected places. Now with some mental preparation, I have come to terms with my 33 year old brain catching a glimpse of my 63 year old body in reflective surfaces at home. Once you leave home they leap out at you when you turn a corner somewhere in the great outside world forcing you to leap out of the way of some totally unknown stranger until you realize that the stranger is yourself ... Smash those mirrors to smithereens and evict them from the world!

3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently:

These people might be part of a universal truth: Any one who gets into the Express Line at the grocery store with too many items, changes lanes suddenly in front of you without even the courtesy of a turn indicator, swears in public places as a form of emphasis not agony, or shoves in front of you for any service where there is a line ... in other words all the incredibly rude and inconsiderate slobs whose parents obviously forgot to cover "please", "thank you", "excuse me" and "after you".

Any politician who uses the phrase "The Fact of the Matter Is:" They must know by now that all of us now know that these six words always precede a lie of humongous proportions that they are trying to shove down our unwilling throats ... so off they go to room 101 never to be heard again.

And while I'm on politicians and others with truly dirty habits: 24 hour news has made it possible to recognize a talking point within a half hour of the first time it is used much less the 1000th time it is repeated. If you must use talking points because you haven't had an original thought since being elected, do try to rephrase it if only to prevent TV screens from being shattered by flying objects.

2 things you find yourself moaning about:

Crowds - any crowds - I hate crowds! It is a tribute to my love of musical theater that I am willing to get into a crowd of a thousand or so human beings three or four times a year.

The disappearance of piano bars. This may sound strange after listing the first one, but I love pleasant singing voices, people who can play the piano, great jazz or standards music and an ambience that lends itself to quiet conversation rather than concert venues, multiple screens, performers the size of tootsie rolls, and thousands of shrieking fans.

1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself:

While I genuinely like most people in small doses, I am a hermit at heart and belong in a backwoods cabin with a stack of books big enough to give the Library of Congress a run for its money and the screaming volume of a babbling brook.

I now get to tag some other folks who might just have a hidden cynical side that has never been exposed to the blogging world and who will probably list me as that person being given the heave-ho into room 101.

Ran at Mental Floss
Corey at The Mitchell Blog
Vanilla Birdies at Tick Tock Goes The Clock
Rock Chick at Life In Rantastic
Enigma4ever at Watergate Summer

Now go have fun, folks, be yourselves, and as Simon says "remember, cynical is sexy"!

Here come the rules! Here come the rules! Here come the rules!

Link to the original meme at freelancecynic.com so people know what it's all about!

Be as honest as possible. This is about letting people get to know the real you! Try not to insult anyone - unintentionallly.

Post these rules at the end of every meme!


Freelance Listener said...

"This happens to any fairly interesting show requiring an education beyond the third grade and the attention of people who don't giggle between words."

ohhh I'm going to like you, I can tell! Some great ansvers

Linda said...

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie - I just knew you were going to do a fantastic job with this and you didn't let me down in the least!

Fantastic answers! Fantastic reasoning! And fantastic choices - some of which would be on my list were I able to have listed more.

By the by, your crowds can go with my crowds and they can take Paris, Lindsay, and the lot with them! Along with all those nasty mirrors which are just torture devices as far as I'm concerned!

Great song, too! When you do a meme, you really know how to do a meme. But I shan't make a habit of tagging you else I'll be in Room 101 myself I'm sure!

Rhian said...

Jamie - these were fabulous comments - had me laughing out loud which is hard to do before the first cuppa is done.

Corey said...

I'm gonna have to spend some time on this one , aren't I? :)

Durward Discussion said...

Corey Dear, Everyone does it in their own fashion ... some of us are just more wordy when whining. :-)

Schmoop said...

It must be age, because I used to enjoy being within a big crowd, and now I can't stand it. Cheers Jamie!!

Travis Cody said...

Outstanding meme! I have very many of the same whines as you do.